and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
