are you still at the devil's house?
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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