I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
How external is "for external use only"?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
