so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
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