So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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