Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize