Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
My bed smells like the plague
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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