Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
This house was built for laser tag.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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