In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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