I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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