yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
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I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
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Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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