WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
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