their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he fucked my hip out of place.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
