She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
