I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Do vagina's smell?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
