if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
