If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
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