So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
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I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
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It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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