xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
