I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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