when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Randomize
