I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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