I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
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I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
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Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize