After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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