just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
