she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
