It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize