i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
