I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
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