Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Randomize
