ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
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