At least make sure they are 18
Why
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize