Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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