No more Irish car bombs ever.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
You sat down in the middle of the road and started crying. We told you "Get your ass up or we're leaving you here." You replied "They'll findddd meeeeee" and ran after us.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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