I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
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All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
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