Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
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