lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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