Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(917): View more from New York City

Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?

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(760): View more from California

so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.

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(612): View more from Minnesota

I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...

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(859): View more from Kentucky

I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?

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(479): View more from Arkansas

Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.

(1-479): View more from Arkansas

How have you survived this long?

(479): View more from Arkansas

Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.

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(847): View more from Illinois

I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.

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(253): View more from Washington

I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat

(1-253): View more from Washington

I think that's a new house record

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(540): View more from Virginia

Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died

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