There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
