I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
