I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
