i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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