My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
Randomize
