Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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