So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Randomize
