Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
