eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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