Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
