I just pynch a tree in the face
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
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One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Holy sore nipples Batman
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Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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