Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
