we made out on top of his cat.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
