Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
