about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
