high people should be assigned attendants
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
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When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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