Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
