he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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