Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
You know, be my cock's hype man.
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Dude, for your own safety, do not bring that chick home. I'm pretty sure you're going to find a marsupial pouch smuggling a fresh batch of herpes under that hoodie. Bail bail bail bail bail.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
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Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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