the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Randomize
